The “But When” question.

I think something most of us can relate to is the “but when” question. 

“I believe I will finish school but When?”

“I believe I will find a spouse but when??”

“I believe I will find the right job but when???”

“I believe I will be a mom but when???”

These are all questions I know I’ve asked and all frustrations I have felt in the past (No, this isn’t going to be a haiku I promise ha)! 

Anyway, life goes by so fast once it’s gone…but it’s easy to forget just how slowly it’s going, right now. My hope is that I will remember that time is a gift and that while I may not be exactly where I want to be, Right Now, I am still Here. We should all try to be more present, I think. Remember Just to Be Here.

It’s easy to get caught up in your endeavors and the plans you have for yourself or your family. It’s so much harder to slow down and enjoy where you’re at in your life right now. I hope I may remember more frequently to look around and be thankful for where I’m at in that moment…I used to have those moments a lot. But lately with this PCOS diagnosis, job searching, going back to church (focusing on those messages), and just everyday life I have been forgetting to be thankful for my life Right Now, just as it is!

I really do believe I will be a mom…one day. What scares me is the “how” and the “when”! 

Will I have to use IUI OR IVF? Will we have to adopt? Will I be able to be a young mom? Will I have kids before I’m 30? 40? What about my husband who is older than I am? When will I be able to give him a family?!

All of these questions are running through my mind, most days. So, lately, I am trying to remind myself that it is not up to me. And asking all of these questions is not changing a thing. I can only control me. I can only change me. Therefore, I will focus on keeping myself healthy. I will focus on enjoying my life in each moment that comes and goes. I will focus on preparing myself, my home, and my life with my husband for my future children. These are the only things I can do. 

Slowly but surely these thought processes  are helping me to cope and live with the waiting on becoming a mom. I will always have those questions in the back of my mind. I will always be hoping for those two pink lines. But I Know things do not happen in my timing, but in God’s timing alone. For I have certainly experienced waiting in God’s timing and I have experienced the pleasures that await me. I have found my soulmate and best friend with God’s timing. I actually had nothing to do with it AT ALL! Haha! 

So there it is, I know it’s been said a billion times before me and in a thousand different ways. But every once in a while we all need this reminder. I hope this one helped somebody today. Heck, it helped me cause Lord knows I needed the reminder! 

Can you recall a point in your life when you had to wait in Gods timing and forget about Your plans? I’d love to hear how he blessed you abundantly more than you could have ever imagined!!! (I say this with confidence because it has happened to me before and I choose to believe it will happen again)! Please share those experiences with me here in the comments! Your recollections could make so many more great reminders!  

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.” ~Jeremiah 29:11 

 

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