As I Wait for Mother Nature…

Men Do Not Read This…it will gross you out and bore you.

  
I have been waiting on my cycle to arrive and I have been having these crazy bad craving for weeks now! I am having trouble balancing my faith for a pregnancy and fear of disappointment. I am leaning more toward the side of fear (I know that’s probably not great as a Christian but I have been disappointed SO MANY times at this point)…

So ANYWAY, my cravings have been so different lately (different than my usual sweet tooth cravings right before my cycles). I have been dying for salads, raw vegetables, and fresh fruit…so badly!! Even for fruit juices and smoothies, for WEEKS now!  Which, don’t get me wrong, I am NOT Complaining about! I just wish I was able to know if these cravings are related to my upcoming cycle  (which is too far away if it is even going to come on time~bc as you know PCOS affects your regulation), if it’s due to my unbalanced hormones and is therefore messing with my nutrition, or if I could be pregnant?!??? 

At this point I have been doing well with accepting my condition, trusting Gods timing, and simply letting go and letting God! AND I have been doing well (for the most part) with taking care of my body for a future baby (e.g. Not drinking alcohol regularly or in large quantities, eating healthier foods, and finding peace for my overall health and well being).SO I am very interested to see if and when my period will come this month. Bc the other struggle with PCOS and trying to conceive is that your unregulated which means you get excited about being “late” and being disappointed when it comes weeks later and Then your test(s) come back negative!

And while I am letting myself get JUST A LITTLE EXCITED (more anxious really though) I am proud to say I am still at peace with this! Now the real test Will come when I end up starting Late and then take a negative pregnancy test (I’m not trying to sound sinnicle just making a point). Even if that Does happen I am still able to say peacefully, at this point, I think I will be okay! Because I am feeling so calm these days and just in an overall better place with my PCOS “condition,” I do feel as though I will be okay with a negative test. 

I have been witnessing God change my life for the better lately and working small “miracles” (I use quotes bc they aren’t actual miracles, just things I didn’t expect to happen at this point in life) in my marriage. After just a few weeks of praying for my husband, I have witnessed Big changes in him. Positive changes. Incredible things. I knew before that God answered prayers, as I’ve mentioned my husband is an answer to my prayers YEARS AGO and after MANY Years of praying! But to see His plan for Us play out right in front of me after Only two weeks of praying for my husband, He has reassured my faith. And while I don’t believe He is trying to Prove anything to me, I do believe this is just part of the Journey He has planned for us. And That excites me! 

I am feeling so very thankful for this peace and reassurance at this point in time and pray that it may continue! 

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