Well, it’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve written anything. So long in fact that I am in my second trimester now…yep, I’m pregnant! Wow. So here’s the thing, I’m not writing this to brag about my excitement. I am blessed enough to have friends and family in my life to celebrate with. I am writing this because I want to figure out the best ways that I can be helpful to women Still going through it. I still want to be able to support those women who are still afraid to open their newsfeed for fear of pregnancy announcements. I want to help support those women who are still having timed intercourse and taking pregnancy tests every single month.
My husband and I went through it for two and a half years. Alone. It’s was by far the hardest thing I’ve EVER gone through in my life. But I’m no idiot. I know there are Couples out there who have been living in that hell for ten years and even more. I know there are women out there who have finally accepted they will never be able to carry a child themselves. I realize my story is not unique and I’m okay with that. I realize my story is not the most unfortunate and for that I am blessed.
The fact is that we got pregnant so unexpectantly, at a time when I had FINALLY begun to accept the truth (That we have no choice but to wait on Gods timing and That is Okay). And in all the excitement and tears and fear, there have been moments where I realize I’m acting as though I didn’t just experience some of the worst pain of my life in waiting for this miracle. There have been times when I feel guilty for completely ignoring the past and the pain that so many women are still experiencing all around me. I tell you what, it is hard to figure out if I deserve to enjoy this without worrying about what others are feeling or if I’m being completely hypocritical and rude for posting my pregnancy announcement on Facebook without some kind of CAUTIONARY HEADLINE before it!
Now, I’m well aware that women struggling with infertility are not oblivious to the fact that life continues to go on around them. I know that no one is out there with some poster sized printout of my head, throwing darts at it, because I got pregnant before them!! But I also know that sometimes that exactly what you want to do…and it’s allowed for us to feel that way (just please don’t act on that one)! Lol!
So here I am left wondering, ” What can I do to help women struggling through TTC and infertility?” Because, even though, I’m now “one of the lucky ones” I can still remember the pain, anxiety, self-hate, and all the tears!! I mean My Gosh, there were So. Many. Tears. There were days I am positive I actually ran out of tears to cry. And nights I used every last ounce of energy I had crying I couldn’t even function after that.
So, what does all my rambling on about this stuff mean? It means I need your help! I need advice, words of wisdom, ideas from women who are still struggling and women who have been in my situation…What can I do to help you?! I need your stories, your ideas, things you’ve done that helped, what really doesn’t help, whatever info you’re willing to offer up. I know this is asking a lot in some ways but I don’t know all the details I just want to know, What you wish you had, what you wish you could tell people, what you wish people would say…or stop saying!
Here is what I’m thinking about:
I want to start at my church. I have kept it no secret I am a Believer and my religion and my church are what helped get me through the depression that comes with tttc and infertility. Plus It is a big church and I know there are women all around me in my community I could reach through my church. I am thinking about doing some of these things:
1. Sharing Our story (My husband and I’s)
2. Researching support groups/projects/lifelines out there for women like us all
3. Sharing this info with women, offering them with coping mechanisms and all the options for emotional support and mental health I can find
4. GET PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT INFERTILITY!
I think 4. Is going to be the best thing I can do and hardest thing as well. But I believe it needs to start happening!
So there it is. Let me know what you think…please be kind I’m super nervous about this idea!! 😬🤞🏻